i had a beautiful visitor yesterday morning, a total surprise when i woke up. at 4am this morning she decided to leave, but had to be helped past the window…i might have left her to find her own way, but nonie puss is very fond of flies and moths – she holds them buzzing in her mouth- and as the beauty has already lost a tip of a wing, it wasn’t worth the risk…sorry the photos are blurred

how long is long enough? it’s easy to know that she was here for the right amount of time, on and off all day i looked up and saw her and had moments of wonder, how well she matches the cracking paint on the outside wall (the landlord is supposed to be painting this summer) but how do moths and insects learn to mimic something inorganic? how can she fly with a wingtip missing? what is she feeding on, there’s so little in flower in the garden at the moment? but mostly i just felt that breathless appreciation of beauty, over and over again…just perfect how she is…

the marching drums of pride have just gone by and i feel a little tearful – fifteen years ago i would have been marching, pushing the wheelchair of a friend with m.e, able to be an agoraphobic in a crowd because she was supporting me (invisible carer/disability politics rant!) and now i have fibromyalgia and am saving spoons (energy) for my party next week…and  the sound of drums makes me aware how much i miss my husband, he would trance out playing drums  and depending if he was level or on a mood swing, i would enjoy it or stress myself out…i miss him, i wish his time had been longer, i wish i had met him earlier and our time together had been longer…

but as all the good sages say, the only constant is change, and gardening is such a good way to learn to be at peace with how all things have their own time and place within the dance.

the cross is one andy made for a big installation about all the kinds of people who care about the environment and why, some of them are very funny totems of scowling biker types he would meet at nine ladies stone circle who he would teach to drum the circle and not throw their beer cans in the fire…this one looks to me to be about turtle island or first nation canadians and the elementals of the forest…but it is here to provide some colour and inspiration as i plant out and ‘make nice’ in the middle border, which has gone from being a very dark and shady place to full sun and partial shade. i was shocked at how much ben downstairs chopped down, so the spirit of place must be reeling! i hear little peals of laughter as i reclaim the corners though – whoever originally built the rockery brought in some really interesting rocks, some beautifully marked, and some full of millions of years of change, sponges and lagoon life being flooded and settling into stagnant sludge and preserving plantlife like amber traps flies…see the ‘bubbles’? that’s an 80million year old sponge!


as i trim back the spotted laurel more and more pretties are coming to light, literally, after decades in the shade. the joys of working a garden and getting to know it, are everchanging and everlasting…

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