sadiversary..the 4th anniversary of andy’s death…

i became a different person through knowing andy…

in 7 years every cell in your body is renewed and replaced, and now they know that brain pathways are affected by stress levels and laughter…i feel very aware of how all that laughter changed me then, and how it hasn’t changed back, i am a person glad to laugh, bubbling with appreciation for the small pleasures of life. living with a poet/artist/comedian looking for the laughter and creative solutions to grease the wheels of life has given me great resources for living the life after him…eva cassidy has a line in a song about not missing someone because you know them by heart, and i often feel i know how he would be reacting…”still love me a bit even though i died on you?”

yes, babe, still love you lots…

because of all the laughter and love and affection and flowers in the garden and art in the house and crystals in the kitchen sink and goatskins in the bath and the best coffee mugs out in the firepit in the back garden and candles by the fire and pumpkins up the stairs and holidays by the sea and poetry at the Maze and collecting chestnuts and digging potatoes and growing sweetpeas and chip, chip chipping away at stone carving while i weeded and planted and enjoyed so many, many minutes and hours, that enough is as good as a feast…

birds sing in the green tree of my heart

Advertisements