Archive for January, 2013

first finish!

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Oh, I had such fun sewing buttons onto the ‘spine’ of the cover this morning! And then had to wrestle a bit to get the cover sewn to the end signature pages. I’ve made an adapted coptic bind, (she speaks a strange foreign tongue!?! stay tuned it gets clearer 😉 ) so that the end recipient can add pages to each section/signature. In the quote albums (click that tag!) I arranged it so that a new signature could be added, but I thought pages might be less daunting/more inviting.

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Can you see the knotted ties? These are easy to untie and add more pages to, you would just use a tapestry or leather needle to make holes in your page, thread the cord onto your needle and pull through the new centre page, gently! or sad disaster will occur, but easy enough if you can use a needle, and then retie the knot.

It is a very satisfyingly chunky thing to heft, and some of the pages are now favourites, like this one (which I am hoping to get Keith’s skills, spoons and camera aligned to take a better photo of on Friday) but this gives you an idea 😉

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I am now hooked on dots, the slow stitch/ bead embellishment style is starting to really flow, as I place cutouts on the background I’m looking for interesting dottiness to follow 😉 (laughter off stage) and as I lucked into a remaindered calendar of medieval maps last week, I have more fun lined up, all those coastlines…

Jennifer came by on Saturday and gave me pretty things, I wound a bobbin off each of these variegated threads (oooh, variegated, mmm)

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and then out of the blue she said how lovely it was to see how wholeheartedly I had thrown myself (in a fibro way!) into making the handmade books, how all my seemingly random skills are coming out to play…I was living in her house in 2000 when I was at my most minimalist and painterly and now I am maximalist and mixed media: all change! My commitment to creativity against the odds is what my new doctor commented on on Thursday too, so I feel very affirmed!

And I am having so much fun, and getting to play with so many toys! I got my heavy tin snips out to cut up can discs and Nonie’s (bargain) posh cat food terrines and a lid off a bottle of Purdey’s elixir…mmm!! I wish that would come back in the pound shop! I’ve cut some shapes and next I want to emboss/imprint some patterns with my springloaded punch (very underused toy) pattern heads and then brand them…oh, just thinking about it makes me smile!

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holocaust memorial day

The Holocaust is impossible to truly take in: 6 million Jews methodically hunted down and slaughtered, but worse than that, tortured before death in all kinds of horrendous ways, used for medical experimentation, for forced labour by companies still flourishing (some of whom have STILL not apologised, let alone made reparations) dehumanised to the point that their skin was used for lampshades. I firmly believe we need a memorial day: talking to my stepson, then 13, now 24, I found out he thought the lampshade item was a sick joke. Seeing his face as I explained it was real, and that as a child of dual heritage, not Jewish, but with a mother of African heritage, he would have been in the camps too, it could have been him…that I would have been in on 4 counts, as the daughter of a Jew, as an anarcha-communist, as a degenerate artist and bi-sexual, that his father would have been there with us, as an artist with bi-polar affective disorder…on some level, he didn’t realise it really truly happened, that ‘Schindler’s List’ is based on real events even worse than it shows, that Oskar Schindler was a real man, a lot more of a rogue than the book and film portray, but that he existed, unlike Logan in ‘Logan’s Run’ for example…

The Holocaust happened to real people, all kinds of people:

http://www.sixgallerypress.com/szymon/bashert/index.html

Irene Klepfisz’s poem Bashert is one of the most powerful pieces of writing I know, she refuses to simplify, she stands for all who lived and died, genocide is always wrong, the ones who survive did not have to be deserving to be saved, being human is sufficient.

9.7 million European Jews became 3.6 million, and of the female survivors of the camps, many had been sterilised as part of the erasure of the Jews. The Nazis were an unimaginably effective killing machine. They also killed 5.1 million non-combatants in the camps, including Rom (Romany gypsies) ; lesbians and gays; non-whites, particularly those of African descent (Asians from the subcontinent of India, which included Pakistan at the time, were Aryans, and safe); political and religious dissenters, including Jehovah’s Witnesses, Communists and trade unionists; the “degenerate” (artists/ creatives/free thinkers/petty criminals); the disabled (physically and mentally, including those with ‘minor’ disabilities, as they abhorred physical imperfections, also those with mental illnesses) and prisoners of war, mainly Russians.

It is important to remember the prisoners of war: these were the only people in that list whom the Red Cross sought to help. The Red Cross have been asked to explain their failures to alert the Allies to how bad the situation was for the others, but they still have never given a heartfelt apology…justifications that their remit only covered non-political prisoners, that they were never shown anything like the real extent of the horror are true, but insufficient, even offensive.  As is Winston Churchill’s position: he could have saved MILLIONS of Jews by allowing transit visas to America, which was willing to take them, but even though Jan Karsky, the Polish Resistance hero, made his way to London TWICE to beg for help, Churchill would not overcome his prejudices. There are other shamefaced leaders too…

What is incredibly important to remember in the face of this appalling human tragedy, is that some people did stand for their OWN integrity and took action: to know more of these ordinary and extraordinary heroes:

http://www1.yadvashem.org/yv/en/righteous/about.asp

– the righteous are the people who often made a decision in a split second to shelter and support Jews, but also organised the Resistance underground railroads to smuggle people to safety, at risk of losing not just their own lives, but those of their entire families or communities – the Nazis would massacre entire villages if one person was found to be involved. The Jews are often portrayed as passive victims, but there was an armed Jewish Resistance and had the British sent more plastique and other weapons, the railway lines carrying the death trains would have been blown up far more often…back to the just… I read ‘The Book of the Just’ in my 20s and wept…sometimes such small actions made a difference. The Danish were incredibly supportive of their Jewish citizens…when the Jews were ordered to wear the yellow Star of David emblems, it was said the Danish King wore it too, which is not so. However, just as importantly, in 1933, he attended the centenary celebrations of the Copenhagen synagogue, even though the Chief Rabbi said they would understand if he did not, to which he replied that now was the most important time to show solidarity. Acts like this are a call to citizens to stand up for the community and not abandon their friends and neighbours, themselves…this is the point I try to get over to the young people I’ve talked with, that it is yourself who is lost when you allow another to be persecuted. And I learnt it from the just and the Jewish faith:

Rabbi Hillel (born 110 BCE) :

If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, then when?

Whoever destroys someone, it is as if an entire world were destroyed; and whoever saves someone, it is as if an entire world were saved.

A Liberal Democrat MP, David Ward, has just been reprimanded for criticising the Zionist Israeli actions against the Palestinians, and particularly because he chose to do it so close to Holocaust Remembrance Day. But surely this is appropriate: at a time when we should be looking at preventing systematic persecutions of peoples, this 61 year old campaign of hawkish invasion needs to be examined. I will be interested to see what Return (the Jewish campaign for the right of Palestinians to a homeland) says about this. I looked up Irene Klepfisz yesterday to send a link for a comment on Soraya’s blog (she posted on how it is for her, having been raised in South Africa where the Holocaust was denied http://sorayanulliah.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/a-necessary-darkness-and-trembling.html) and was struck how Irene had the courage to criticise the ‘hawks’

http://www.solidarity-us.org/node/527

– sorry, you have to scroll a long way down to the section between footnotes 10 and 11, but the important bit is where she asks if we are only going to object to Israel’s conduct when they act as complete fascists, not partial?

The Israelis are not Nazis, but they are acting illegally and immorally, and because the state of Israel was created in apology to the Jews and in reparation for the Holocaust, there is an uncomfortable entwining of circumstances. Any other nation that had broken so many UN agreements would be vilified, so why are we so uncomfortable criticising Israel? Perhaps because we cannot cope with the huge, unimaginable wrong that was done, we cannot bear to think about what has arisen in the decades since. There are uneasy parallels to the slave trade here: substitute Britain and America for the the Nazis, and see the ongoing discomfort at discussing the problems caused by erasing the rights of many peoples, causing them unimaginable harm, moving them thousands of miles and still discriminating against them and wonder why some of those affected by this, even now, over a century later, are angry and bitter or disaffected and alienated? Most Israelis are not Zionists, many are ‘doves’, many actively campaign for the rights of Palestinians and justice for all….but some are baying for blood, demanding blanket bombing of the strongholds of the intifada. America has a President of part African heritage, who is incredibly inspiring in his commitment to fair treatment and opportunities for all, for care and compassion. Britain has amazing citizens of dual heritage and history and I think Dianne Abbott’s speech against the pornification of society is the best stand for a return to integrity I’ve heard for ages. Both countries also have areas of heavy gang culture, knife crime and lost black youth….there are communities on both sides of that heritage with huge wounds and self harming behaviours. I do wonder if the buried shame of being slave traders and empire builders (read genocidal invaders) has caused some of the problems Britain and America have in adjusting to no longer being world leaders. They are no longer the winners writing the history, and reading what the rest of the world thought and thinks about it all is not at all comfortable. The gun crimes in America seem to be committed by individuals who can’t cope with the old order being overturned, who want the right to bear arms as though they are still invading someone else’s country and need weapons for ‘self protection’ against the rightful inhabitants…

I include these examples to be clear I’ve thought about this a lot and know it’s very complicated. And that I have lots of thoughts going on about the consequences of major historical events…and I apologise if it’s muddled or muddling…

But it’s also very simple:

Survivors of difficult histories are as varied as everyone else, and the choice to be just must be made daily. To save ourselves.

Please light a candle for all those affected by injustice, and take a moment to think what you can best give to the world. And pledge to do it! That is the best memorial we can make for those who have died unfairly: to live well, to be just and to remember.

when two wrongs make a right ;)

If you are feeling in need of quiet, restorative elegance, best run away now 😉

If on the other hand, you are tired of cold grey ice and slush…

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———– it’s taken me a  long time to spot that these dots are very like the slow cloth stitching/sashiko/boro meditative sewing I admire, check out pinterest for examples: http://pinterest.com/tinselfairy/spirit-cloth-slow-cloth-talismanic-blankets-waggas/

In fact, it was only on Wednesday when I was stitching the mother of pearl buttons to the page (the other side has a small collage of paper, foil, and beads, so this stitching is from that, but had to be turned into something 😉 ) and then dotting round, that the link revealed itself…I find it quite amusing that when I put two ‘fails’ together, I can make something new. I haven’t the patience and/or confidence to do sashiko, mine always looks clunky to me; neither am I as fluid with felt tips and colour pencils as I am with paint. But out of those two inabilities has come this increasingly enjoyable dottiness 😉

daoist laughter! two wrongs CAN make a right!

stencilling second book

In theory, these handmade  books should be fairly similar…in practice, I suspect they will each have their own feel. I haven’t counted, but this second book feels like it has fewer fabric pages, so I find myself trying to vary the text more, with more stencilling:

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– this may have more added, but I like the feel of it how it is, for now. As soon as I added the ‘serenity’ all kinds of images demanded to join this section…because the images are not mine, but taken from a remaindered book, they WILL have more added, or it would be an infringement of the photographer’s copyright, morally, if not legally…
so these are the base for more to come, and will be added to in ways that harmonise with my own style…if you look at the dots on the net curtain stencil sheet, they will extend across the Tara’s hands…which means I may be buying a gold marker tomorrow…or I may use nail varnish 😉 I’m actually allergic to nail varnish, it makes my skin and nails itch horribly, but I have about 20 colours I use for adding to dark coloured images or upcycled plastic surfaces…my Marisota parcels come in lovely teal and green plastic that I’ve cut up for pages, which photograph really badly, but can look stunning.

The embossed candle decoration will be picked up with upcycled gold foil and/or pyrography – ooh I haven’t played with my wood burning tool for ages, and when I sorted a couple of boxes of diy tools out over xmas, I found more of Andy’s burning tools, old silver fish knives he’d cut and shaped to make brands! Mmm, if Cherise fancies playing with those on Friday, there may be updates to these images at the weekend 😉

I have some charms of paintbrushes and other tools, so I might add those to this spread:

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So many possibilities!

what’s missing from this picture?

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This is the most photographed spot of the garden, there are interesting rocks, herbs and flowers, shells and artwork…lots of

COLOUR!

I think that’s one of the things I find hard about grey winter days…the  temperature affects my pain and fatigue levels, but the light and colour affect my moods.

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Luckily there was some sunshine yesterday, and then a visitor, with another one today, so I have some momentum to face going out tomorrow 🙂

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Abundant embellishment is the key to  the cover for the first book. It took over an hour to make because even though I put the fire on in the studio, I had to keep running back to the warm 😉 The machine wasn’t playing nicely either, I think a service might be a good idea. The top is open, as I have some strips of ribbon and charms and buttons and general over-the-top-ness to add, and the easiest way is to pin it and handstitch, with beads at every other stitch…because I can, ok? wabisabi/less is more/minimalism is beautiful…but so is maximalism sometimes 😉 I ache with the beauty of less sometimes, but I laugh with delight at more-ness 😉 so, more it is…

The shiny Chinese washing silk will suggest shapes/lines of embroidery/ embellishment, which will add quilting and stability to the cover. The pocket on the inside will have treasures added for the end recipient to add their own mark to the book…lots to be done before then though 😉

progress on first book

A bundle!

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This is the first of the 6 handmade books I am making as part of fundraising for an exhibition. It seems to have acquired a theme of damsel flies 😉 I have no idea where that came from! Lots of the pages won’t photograph well because they are metallic brusho / upcycled high gloss images of wallpaper, have words in letraset on holographic shiny gold strips (£shop paperchains 😉 ) even upcycled plastic packaging…with metallic nail varnish patterns…yes, the more is more approach 😉

Work to do when the studio thaws:

Make a woven fabric/ribbon/selvedge patchwork style cover (though I might upcycle ‘Things that Like to be Together’ as I doubt I’ll show it again, and at 4′ x 3′ (1.3 x 1m) with the same again in trailing streamers there is plenty to make 6 covers)

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did the earth move for you?

I woke up at 5.22 am because Nonie-puss jumped on me, oof, and immediately afterwards the house shook (I swear I wormed her, she doesn’t weigh that much!) and there was a crunching noise. I wondered if all the snow had fallen off the roof  in one lump, but no…scratched head, went back to sleep…

We had an earthquake! A tiny one, but that’s the 3rd earthquake since I moved to Nottingham in the mid 90s…

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The rock on the right of this picture is local to Derbyshire, maybe 20 miles from here, and is limestone formed from petrified sponges (sharks in the lagoon maybe? soz, my bad!)

I never paid much attention to rocks growing up, probably because Suffolk is a bit limited that way, the very few hills are river terraces mainly and with so much of the countryside in arable farming, I didn’t look at the lie of the land, I looked at the crops and how they were doing…Nottingham has really interesting outcrops, at the Castle, all the caves (900?) the sandstone riverbeds showing at the very top of the hill where Hucknall Road meets Perry Road…that one I always try to look at, I’m at the top of what was the bottom…?!?

The WEA ran a course on climate change that got me interested in geology, and then I went on 2 of Judy Rigby’s wonderful introductions to the local landscape…and it really changes how I see the land around me, the possibilities of how the land can be lived on, what is natural to it, what has changed in the last 80 million years ( a tropical lagoon near the equator…) to what has changed in the last 500 years (the Enclosures Act). There is an oak in the park 5 minutes walk away commemorating the enclosures, and I always wonder if it is in sadness, the way you plant a tree in someone’s memory. The enclosures robbed so many people of rights over common land that made them self sufficient : the right to pasture sheep and cattle, the right to beechmast for pigs, to coppice trees, to herbs and wildflowers for teas and simples, herbal medicines for people who could not afford physic (largely dangerous remedies made up by the men/Church who were trying to suppress women healers aka witches, and who promoted things like mercury instead, scary!) and straw and strewing herbs for bedding and floors…

Life has changed and the way we use land has changed and what we consider “normal”, the giant agri-business approach, dependent on petro-chemical fertilisers and penicillin-laden livestock is actually not even 100 years old, more like 50. When the oil runs out, how will we breed enough horses to replace tractors? Or will they try and invent solar ploughs? Or wind turbine charged electric battery tractors? The children who were so good at farming at the schools I went to would regularly miss classes to help with harvests, and this was winked at, because, actually this was their future career. Now schools are training unwilling attenders for cubicle prisons and call centres, when they are physically suited to outdoor work, but somehow there is no respect for the value of farming and agricultural work… “the world turned upside down”, indeed…I read a piece by a disabled rights activist recently, whose name I have forgotten, sorry, but whose point was, we all are incapable of life in the 21st Century without huge infrastructure and support from others, locally and globally, but the difference is for the able that the system is set up around their needs. When the oil runs out and no one knows how to harness an ox to a plough, we are all going to be disabled by hunger…

A thought which might rock your world…

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5 senses: snowy day

see: a happy student in shiny patent  lilac doc martens, black leggings, a vibrant flower patterned vintage frock, a  green duffel and bright violet scarf in bright sunshine under a blue sky, dancing like a harlequin down the grey street…

a djembe drum on its side in a window, bright red and orange and canary yellow with black lacing

a pinky /apricot/ lilac twilight as i come home

all the different marks in the snow, crisp footprints, speckled bird tracks, slide marks left by schoolkids, dottles of thaw drips under  trees and roofs, tire tracks of bikes and cars and buses

thaw water in ice or slush in a dozen shades of white, grey, beige, brown, grey….

hear: the clang of the tram turning into slab square

the silence of no fountains!

a heavy, full, drip drip drip of snow melting off the porch roof under the window of the therapy room

less! the snow muffles some of the traffic at rush hour when i am back home in bed

squeaky complaining miaows from nonie as i let her out and then quickly back in

happy growling  and scrabbling paws as she chases and ‘kills’ the quilt remnant i dangle for her

smell: snow…a sort of metallic tang in the air

the bakery in lidl wafting fresh cheese topped rolls deliciousness over the store

the homeless man in the next aisle, sour sweat and his dog, who i saw waiting for him as i came in, a heavy alsation, they keep each other warm…

taste: hot coffee with lots of creamer and then lemon squash wakes me up!

chewy  cheese roll with fresh crisp, organic lettuce from the box delivered this morning, wondering how it didn’t get frosted…

feel: precarious walking down a path i only now realise is north facing! polished ice and searingly cold metal handrail, even through my favourite brown marl handwarmers

confident in my new boots walking through the thawed slush as i turn south

cold toes nip!

happy in my new pashmina, that goes so nicely with my woven wool blanket cape, cosy but free…

rested and warm,  ready to make, sore hands from the cold, but happy

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the power of naming: mudita and schadenfreude

mudita: the conscious practice of joy in other’s good fortune

schadenfreude: the malicious enjoyment of others’ misfortune

– lovely Suella  drew my attention to mudita  in her comment on my abundance post. It immediately struck me, that while I practice this, I hadn’t known a name for it, I was responding to how I feel about meanspiritedness.

When I lived on Welbeck estate in Hucknall – not the worst estate by far – I suffered over a year of abuse ranging from shouted insults, demonstrations of acts of gross indecency, thrown stones and terrifyingly, while out on my bike, being surrounded by juveniles and forced into the path of oncoming traffic…

This stemmed from me saving a toddler from being run over, and being very clear with the 8 year olds who were supposed to be looking after him that they needed to do a better job. But it spread from the two kids to a huge group of teenagers because they already resented me because I would walk with my wheelbarrow full of seedlings to the allotment and back with crops of lovely homegrown veg. And I looked happy! How dare I look happy!?! The fact that I continued to go up to my allotment in fear of an incident that might physically hospitalise me, or trigger a return to being housebound with agoraphobia (in Newcastle I could only go out for 1-3hours per WEEK) speaks volumes to how much peace and enjoyment I gained from turning round a derelict and maltreated piece of land (60 sacks of asbestos, 90 buckets of broken glass, 19 car batteries, 2 sheds-worth of decaying wood and roofing felt, pieces of cars, 17 tyres…all had to be cleared to reveal it was riddled with twitch, black bryony, a seriously poisonous climber, a multitude of hawthorn weedlings and common mallow, oh the joy!) I loved making it a bio-dynamic haven for wildlife with flowers and crops year round, an oasis of wildness AND  a productive garden that  the old men shook their heads over, but conceded all their beans got better pollination etc now …(flowers for bees anyone?) and messy as it was, the proof was in the crops 😉

One of the things I found hardest about living there even before all this started, was the meanness, the smallminded, petty bickering and negativity that clouded everything… Living with acute Post Traumatic Stress Disorder involves constant anxiety, but intermittent depression, and my husband had endogenous depression as part of bi-polar affective disorder (manic depression) so we had enough on our plates without being surrounded by pessimism and schadenfreude. What I found surprising was how resented we were for trying to make the best of things. And we only stuck it out there because Andy’s mother was determined we shouldn’t move away, even though it was so hard, she couldn’t seem to see attitudes aren’t like that everywhere, perhaps having lived all her life in this atmosphere, she simply couldn’t imagine another way.

We had enough (too much!) drama with Andy’s manic episodes and his son’s escapades (don’t go there!) and were always trying in between to have fun and positive days spent in the garden, allotment, studio, the local woods or lake… When people came round they either joined in the fun or were advised by Andy that this was a ‘no problem zone’, because having silly fun would be more healing than repeating more tales of gloom and despair…people in need of support got tea, sympathy and crystals to hold, but were subjected to Bonzo Dog Doodah Band or Sir Henry of Rawlinsons End (Vivian Stanshall, the ginger geezer genius!) or Joyce Grenfall if easily offended…not that the easily offended lasted more than an hour in Andy’s company 😉  This positive approach worked really well for us, but seemed to generate anger or bewilderment. So many people wanted to gossip or stir trouble and just weren’t interested in sorting their own lives out. And nearly everyone used something to numb out how pointless their lives felt, and were hostile to the idea of trying to change things for the better so they wouldn’t need to…

So having reminded myself how grim some aspects were (climbs out of large hole!)

What difference might it have made knowing there was an established practice of celebrating other’s good fortune?

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I think I would have felt less alone, less whistling in the dark, less ‘weird’…I got very good at saying “well, that’s us, odd as two left boots”, smiling (to hide the gritted teeth!) and carrying on. It’s easier to stay on the path, if you know where it’s headed, know where you want to be. I knew about schadenfreude, knew what I resented and was working against, but didn’t have a name for that part of what I was working towards…and global goodwill, the approach to peacemaking I most like, is so much easier if every piece of good news for anyone is good news for us all…

http://www.good.is/posts/the-gift-economy

– this is a place online I found this week which makes me happy! Where the GOOD things are! How wild is that 😉 😉 yes that  was intended, sendak me home now! 😉 is that siren I hear the pun police? 😉

I am so happy to have moved to my crooked flat in a falling down house with a neglected garden, but where I can be positive in peace!

update: talk about timing! one of my favourite people in the world, who rocks process and integrity and is so beautiful in heart and soul and intention has just made the front cover of Somerset Studio’s Art Journalling! Soraya, you are a star!

http://sorayanulliah.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/storytelling-from-soul-dream-come-true.html

I happy dance round the room for you! and this reminds me of some lines by ee cummings that I’ve loved for 30 years now:

i’d rather learn from one bird how to sing

than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance

Soraya, thank you for teaching us to sing!

overflowing abundance!

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—-I went to the parcel office yesterday to collect a parcel I missed last week – but it was two! And on Wednesday PoetrySue was able to come over at last, she has been much missed the last 6/7 weeks, so pleased she is better after her slide and sticky visit to  A&E…but between the three of them I got such lovely presents! The print is by S.Patel, of Sita and the deer, and reminds me of a meditation I had where Lakshmi showered me with gold sequins and laughter, the (commercial) handmade paper is perfect for a project I am just starting, the Pam Sussmann book is great inspiration for the handmade books, the box made by my friend in Cornwall is lovely…and another two friends have just sent presents…funny, I felt quite happy with what I got on my birthday, so this feels like the universe surprising me with abundance and reminding me how rich my life is…and there was lots more in those parcels too, the yarn for the socks, truffle making ingredients, a beautiful pashmina in red, dark and light olive greens and black, mmmm…a book to tear pages out of (from an ex-librarian! You’ve come a long way baby 😉 ) some smellies and flower seeds…a knitter’s brooch…and lovely Eleanor at KnitNottingham gave me some yarn leftovers to pass to the streetplay project and vintage patterns to go to the reminiscence project at the old people’s home a friend works at, and chucked in some felty goodness for me!

And Abel and Cole organic veg boxes are sending me a bottle of  cold pressed extra virgin olive oil as a joining gift (I thought the free book was my gift?!?) and gave me £5 off Ecover cleaning products

And Marisota put the boots and Joe Brown top I wanted on sale…

And it’s sunny!

Wow…time to lie down in a dark room!

Tuesday I was worried because my freezer needs the door seal changing and the landline is unfixable, but today…who cares?! I have all this and am being taken out for lunch tomorrow by another friend I haven’t seen for a while…

Sometimes life really does shower goodness…I’m really aware of people I know who are having a hard time right now, and previously I would hold back on being this noisy about my good luck and abundance, but one of the things I have been thinking about is how we can store happiness…we can’t, but if we enjoy it to the full when it is our turn, it helps when the wheel turns again and someone else is having the good luck and the bad luck is raining on our side of the street…holding back helps nothing, and is probably bad for our health, all that brain and body chemistry, adrenalin and cortisone and whatnot…I can’t remember who used the phrase living out loud, but for me, it links to the Marianne Williamson quote Nelson Mandela used in his inauguration speech, who are we not to be…

http://skdesigns.com/internet/articles/quotes/williamson/our_deepest_fear/

and I would include fortunate in with the other qualities…

So much gratitude here, with candles lighted for anyone and everyone who is on the other side of the wheel right now…

update: the guy in the flat downstairs not just fitted the new doorseal on the freezer, he figured out the slope in the floor was generating the problem, put a wedge in the back and lengthened the legs at the front and made it all work again, all for a pint! I gave him one of Andy’s CDs as well, and he will get some of the next batch of baked goodness 😉